Finding Serenity for the Mother of the Bride
Weddings are a big stressor for moms of the brides-to-be. What is their role and how can the wedding day be much more rewarding for her and her daughter? Real moms give their advice based on their personal experiences.
Highlands Ranch, Colo., August 23, 2016 (Newswire.com) - Weddings are all about the couple getting married. But let’s face it, most of the planning falls on the bride and standing by her for every decision, good or bad, is usually mom. And while every mother hopes her daughter’s day goes off without a hitch, it rarely happens. In fact, moms are usually so busy trying to make sure everything is perfect for their daughters, they rarely stop to think about what will make the day special for them as well.
Brides Magazine says there are some responsibilities every mom should do for her daughter.
It's a good idea to hire a party planner, or at the very least to have a point person on the day of the wedding to field questions and handle the details. I made the assumption I could do more than I could and it was stressful.
Ruth Busalacchi, Mother of the Bride, Hales Corners, WI
· Help her daughter find her wedding dress
· Research family traditions and find something old, borrowed and new
· Play host
· Share her outfit choice with the groom’s mom
· Assist with dressing the bride on the wedding day
· Be the go-to person for all the vendors to field questions
The mothers of the brides we talked to did not necessarily agree. And for all the advice available in books, magazines, online and from wedding planners and psychologists, who better to offer this advice than the women who have been there themselves?
Virginia Heykoop, from Highlands Ranch, Colo., has been the mother of the bride twice in two years. Two daughters, two different personalities, two totally different weddings. While Heykoop was generally happy with the outcome of both weddings, her biggest lesson was learning to be okay with things that didn’t get done her way.
“With one of the weddings, I didn’t get a picture with my husband and I was very upset,” says Heykoop. “I had to remember it was her day, and not mine. I think it’s good to ask the bride what she wants and to be gentle with her decisions.”
Heykoop says she found serenity in prayer, serving others and spending time with her daughters.
“I did flowers for another wedding and three days before ours, we scheduled some girl time with the bridal party, getting mani-pedis, massages, which was really helpful, and giving each other facials. And after two weddings, I think hiring a day coordinator is a good idea. The mother of the bride should spend the day as a mom and not worry about all the details…leave that to the coordinator.”
Ruth Busalacchi, from Hales Corners, Wis., agrees. “It’s a good idea to hire a party planner, or at the very least to have a point person on the day of the wedding to field questions and handle the details. I made the assumption I could do more than I could and it was stressful.”
Busalacchi says splurging a little on yourself is not a bad idea either. “I had a dress tailored just for me and I felt like a million bucks.”
If Gina Shreck of Littleton, Colo., had had her way, she would have kept her two daughters away from Pinterest and other social sites.
“There were so many ideas that they loved and wanted to make themselves,” Shreck remembered. “It was so stressful. They were still working on crafts the week of the wedding and writing personal notes to guests on the day of. Those grand ideas never turn out the way you want.”
If things could go haywire, it did at the Shreck wedding. “We didn’t have a picture list, so we didn’t take enough pictures. We had the wrong seating chart, when we should have just said take a seat. The ring bearer, which was a dog, ran through the field where we were taking pictures an hour before the wedding and of course, these irreplaceable rings fell off and everyone had to scour the field to find them. We did, but it was crazy.”
Shreck says she got through it all with humor. “You know, the one thing everyone loved was dancing. The simple things were the most special. You have to let go of what you think, because the day is really for the bride and groom. My daughter wanted breakfast served for dinner and I really wanted to fight that idea. In the end, it was fine. We laugh about all these moments now. We have great memories that will last a lifetime.”
While stress goes with the territory when you are the mother of the bride, these moms pretty much agree if you want to keep your sanity, don’t sweat the little things – let the party planner do that. Take some time to pamper yourself, and always bear in mind, it’s your daughter’s day. You’ve raised her and now it’s time to pass the baton.
Source: Elements Massage
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